What if the cast of DMC were in
by darthjag
Summary: Just as the title says, what if the DMC cast were involved with other series. Drabbles, taking requests.
1. Chapter One : One, One Lots

The mammoth creature towered over the humans like a man among insects ; black soulless eyes searching for the remnants of it's progenitor , her siren song calling him ever closer to what had been dubbed Tokyo-3.

Lillims attacked him , but it was all in vain. Their spears and javelins useless against his Absolute Terror , none but the lance would pierce his side.

Soon…soon he would free her and then all would be theirs…..

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Japan was…interesting , to say the least. As soon as he arrived at this 'secret base' of theirs he'd been told to sit and wait.

All but his promise to Dante stopped him from painting the walls crimson with their blood , how _DARE_ they tell him to wait. Blasted humans and their insolent little ways.

Though he'd have to admit , that little master-stroke nature had sent to the Earth had seriously dealt with the problem that was humanity ; fifty percent of the planet wiped out in the space of a year.

He'd only wished that he'd been the one to come up with it.

The only downside seemed to be that the planet was now largely covered in water ; not a problem for him, all things considering. One trip back to his brothers shop to pick up the Aquaheart and he could swim with the fishes all he liked (of course conveniently 'forgetting' to mention to that insipid little red-head that he had 'borrowed' it from her) .

Back to the problem at hand though , restraining himself from mass genocide.

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Gendo was feeling kind of blunt today , his three night binge of doing nothing but thinking of how he was going to re-claim his wife by causing the extinction of the human race had been (in retrospect) a slightly bad thing. This explained his subsequent answer to his sons question of "Why am I here" ?

"I need you to pilot a giant bio-mechanical robot and kill a thing which a nuke couldn't even faze"

…..somehow he expected the fainting to happen a lot quicker. Must have been those nerves 'o steel he inherited from his old man kicking in for a few seconds. The boy made him so proud sometimes .

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That's an angel ! Shock was unusual for him , he usually had all the facts before rushing into a battle (unlike a certain brother of his) .

Well you **are** a devil Mister Redgrave , yet I see no horns , wings nor a tail

The glare could have torn through sheet steel , yet all Gendo Ikari did was stare back , not even smirking ; deciding two can play at that game he slid into his 'I don't give a damn' look which had been mostly prevalent during the Temen-Ni-Gru incident.

No success.

Deciding that professionalism (and not pure fanatical hatred) was needed he iced over his feelings and studied the computer screen.

The thing looked as big as a building and was probably as strong as one too , that shield of it's (which was doing a particularly fine job of ignoring the humans missiles) looked almost impenetrable. Almost being the key word , he'd doubt anything could stand up to him when he 'Devil Triggered' (as Dante had nicknamed it) and had hold of his fathers sword.

This would be a challenge though , he calmly noted to himself that a warrior of his calibre needed one every now and then to make sure his skills weren't becoming rusty from annihilating all those low level demons.

But still, a skyscraper sized….thing , against the first born of Sparda ?

A small smile graced his usually cold features , eye gazing intently at the creature.

This would be fun .

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Ahh nothing better then lampooning a popular anime , t'is like a cold drink upon a warm day.

None the less I may turn this into a little series of _What if Vergil was in ….._ if I get enough responses.

See ya

-DarthJag


	2. Chapter two : Double your money

Fun

Oh so fun.

Vergil Redgrave hadn't had this much fun since his childhood.

Why you may ask ?

The answer is quite simple. He was at War

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Upon the blackened London skies flew a Zeppelin , it's title daubed in great crimson letters 'Hindenburg II'. The bloated monstrosity held some of the greatest (and most disturbed) minds of the century .

Unfortunately said minds were now reduced to bickering like children.

"Closer" ! "Bring the Zeppelin closer herr Dokter, this monster, this creature of darkness does he eclipse that of Nosferatu Alucard" ? "I must know" !

The 'Dokter' ran a six fingered hand through his lank blonde hair before sighing , "As I said before Sturmbannführer, mein engine design cannot achieve a higher velocity without incurring damage upon itself ".

Dok's superior was unable to reply though , his face rammed as close as possible to the viewing screen trying to catch a glimpse of this 'Devil in Blue' that was destroying his troops with such ferocity . Three hundred of their original one thousand military trained , superbly armed and mentally stable vampires had been reduced to mere shreds of meat by this…this..thing..

It was stupendous.

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Yamato slid effortlessly between leather and flesh , these inferior demons (or were they ? A noticeable stink of human remained upon them , contradicting their apparent supernatural abilities) dieing in their droves. He contemplated the creatures origins as he teleported above the rending claws of another 'demon ' , the Beowulf gauntlets ( lent to him by his brother) allowing him to return the favour ten-fold.

His reverie was broken by a familiar (and confusing) sight.

Red coat ? Check.

Black and Silver pistols ? Check.

Jumping at least a mile above a city ? Check.

What in Heavens name was his idiot of a brother doing here , wasn't he clearing out some little island being terrorised by an overzealous business corporation ?

Deciding that this little surprise was more interesting then these weak 'demons' he teleported. Now Vergil (unlike his lazy brother) actually spent the time and patience in figuring out how to teleport , it was a difficult process for the weaker demons and even he (with the blood of Sparda running through his veins) found it taxing after more then seven or eight 'ports in a row.

Thus was the reason why he found himself hanging in mid-air and cursing his minor (yet soon-to-be painful ) miscalculation.

"Damn"

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Alucard's lips peeled back to reveal what he would consider a grin and others a death sentence ; most would agree though that the words 'Shark' , 'Mommy' and 'help me' usually followed (in that order of course).

The No Life Kings smile never faded as he began, "The Bird of Hermes is my name……"

Dark energy condensed around his coffin , ancient magiks awakening from their century long sleep , hundreds of souls unshackled from their maddening prison.

" I devoured my own wings ……"

The enemy began to quiver. The unmistakable stench of fear festering away at their once might resolve ; he would crush them to powder, leaving nothing . Not a shred of skin, flesh, or bone , nor clothing or weaponry.

To fight a **true vampire** was a invitation to gamble with your very existence. These poor unfortunates had lost upon entering the battlefield it seems . Monsters to man , yet men to monsters and upon witnessing a real monster they were reduced to what he had suspected .

How pathetic.

"And that's how I wa-"

_**WHAM !**_

Alucard's spell froze , before slipping away, the thin shades of materialising servants fading back into nothingness. His rage simmering , he poked his head over the current tangle of limbs and glared at the whelp.

Things were about to get very ugly…….

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Man I love Hellsing , though their were a few….spoilers here and there.

I don't own DMC, nor do I own Hellsing

Note : From now on my standard cut off points for these will be around 630-650 words.


	3. Chapter Three : New Style Baby !

Dante was ticked, frustrated , raging. So many words ; yet none could quite accurately describe the half-devils frustration .

They were being upstaged !

It had started as a little joke, Lady had noticed the ruined instruments in what remained of his shop before looking at his comatose brother (whom was hanging over his shoulder at the time due to a spontaneous case of Pistol Whipitus) and had made a remark that 'They'd make a kick-ass band'.

They'd chuckled about it at the time (Vergil even making a slight twitch in his unconscious state ! ). But after all the low level demons had been destroyed and their cash flow had dried up, well…..it was better then nothing ?

Cue Dante's current problem.

It had taken them FOREVER to find someone who would book them (Vergil had standards you see, you wouldn't see **that** son of Sparda working in some seedy den of drunkards and prostitutes), and when they finally get their, it turns out that they had a joint gig !

It didn't help much either that their 'opponents' were a bunch of pretty boy pop singers .

"What Kind of Name is 'The Three Lights' anyway" ?

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"And how are you related to me again" ?

The question was directed at the three ragamuffin orphans standing on his doorstep.

The oldest (still a young girl herself) seemed to do all the talking , he was pretty sure they weren't copies of anyone he knew nor demons in disguise ; although the baby had some of the _sharpest_ teeth he'd ever seen on a human.

"Well your mother is our fathers great cousin, eight times removed and once stricken from the records" piped in the middle child, his large glasses reflecting the neon from 'Devil May Cry's' sign . This was (apparently) a bad move the oldest nudging him before glaring slightly.

"Alright , fess up. What's your problem , I mean you haven't even stepped in my door and your tenser then my brother before a fight".

"Blugoh" added the baby which probably translated to something along the lines of "Our former Guardians were useless and usually ended up putting us in horrible positions and attempting to murder us" .

"Our former Guardians were useless and usually ended up putting us in horrible positions and attempted to murder us" translated the oldest diligently.

"Murder you ? Jeez that's a little harsh…any particular reason" ?

"Were heirs to a massive fortune" replied the spectacled lad , a slightly pensive look upon his brow .

"Feh , money who needs it. Well come on in , mi casa es su casa"

He lead the children into his shop , their eyes wide at the large trophies he had recently adorned his wall with (the massive horned one being the hardest to obtain , fire demons are a **bitch** to flay ; it's the magma blood you see, gets all over the carpet…).

"What….do you do exactly Mister….."

"Call me Dante, and I er…I kinda work freelance you know ; I deal with 'problems' that need to be taken care of".

The oldest paused and ran a finger across the dusty pool table while lost in thought . Perhaps their lives would get better ? Perhaps not , but for Klaus and Sunnies sake Violet put on a brave face. After all , how odd could this guy be ?

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**SPLAT **

**Bang**

"Squeeeeeeee"

**Bang**

"Damned yokels and their worrying" muttered Lady as she trudged away from a small pig sty , her ! A professional demon hunter reduced to pathetic work like _this_.

Some idiot with an accent thicker then Dante's skull had called her about some kind of 'demonic pig'. After driving all the way to Ohio (and getting hit on by two complete retards) it had just turned out to be a waste of time.

She'd killed the pig anyway ( A girl needs to ventilate every now and then) and squashed some annoying insect that had tried crawling down her top. She shuddered at the recollection, demons she could stand ; spiders not so much.

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Yes true believers , this will be my new format now since I find it easier to write like this.

Also I'm now taking requests , so if you wanna see a dmc crossover just simply request and it shall be done !

Anyway I don't own DMC , Sailor Moon (and any of it's god-awful spin offs) A series of unfortunate events or Charlottes Web.

See ya

- Darthjag


	4. Chapter The Fourth

Meet Jimmy folks, Jimmy is your average Thug with a serious axe to grind with a certain red-coat wearing devil hunter .

His day seemed fortuitous though ; because at that very moment he found the 'silver haired snot' sitting in **his** seat (More then enough of a reason to start a bar brawl) at his local dive 'The Love Planet'. It was the best damn seat in the house, close enough to the bar that you didn't have to move, yet close enough to the stage to ogle the girls nicely.

Smiling on the inside (the outside smile currently being unavailable due to a poor case of vision by the Vertical Labret piercer) he approached the unaware, red coat wearing soon-to-be-a-stain quietly, the guy had left freaky sword at home and didn't appear to have his guns on him .

This was going to be so easy.

The mental countdown began at ten but was sped up to a one in the space of an eye blink over zealousness overtaking common sense. Grabbing Dante he span him by his shoulders to face him….

….Only to be looking at a completely different person.

" Huh" It was just some schmuck eating a donut, hell he still had the damn thing in his mouth ! How did he not notice the differences ? Blonde spiky hair and that stupid looking beauty sp-

"Hey Jimmy"

Dropping the guy Jimmy turned; unfortunately meeting a fist that sent him literally six feet in the air before he settled on the hard wooden floor in the soothing embrace of unconsciousness.

"Thanks for that Dante"

"S'alright, after all ; how often is it that a guy pops clean out of mid-air and into your pizza…."

"I said I was sorry"

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"Hurry", "Hurry" and "Don't let them get to the mines".

These were the cries of the valiant people of Narshe, a hardy stock if their ever was any; or at least in his own opinion and that was all that mattered really. Might makes right, thus a powerful set of people were worthy of his guarding, at least until he found a way a home.

Damn Dante and his irritable luck ! If he'd won the battle they would now be the rulers of the very Underworld itself. The Sparda name cleared of it's shameful mark of 'traitor'. Instead he was beaten by his showboating little brother and after a hasty suicide attempt, flung through the underworld and out of a rent in the space time continuum.

Hoo-fucking-ray.

Better to die then live with the fact that Dante had beaten him.

Pausing his thoughts of self contempt for a moment he eyed up the approaching ( 700 feet and counting, he had _very_ good eye sight) enemy.

This world was…unique. No demons (at least none that he could identify), yet absolutely _crawling_ with creatures ready to rend any would-be-traveller for skull to sternum. Also he found himself unable to devil trigger unless he was extremely wounded (which was quite difficult for a half demon who could regenerate from impalement in a few seconds).

Now where was he? Ahh yes the enemy….

Shit.

The things dwarfed him by at least thrice his own height, two piloted by Imperial soldiers and a third by a girl wearing a odd loo-

"Slave Crown, dammit".

Great , the third pilot was a puppet to someone's will, probably the two fools in the Imperial armour. While he had no qualms about killing humans, he **hated** Slave crowns. Some impudent clown had tried to stick one on him when he arrived, the thing seemed to have an aversion to demons though and shorted out, allowing him to escape and regain his strength (having been significantly weakened by the near endless battles in the underworld and the inter-dimensional travel).

Now he'd have to play the 'good guy' and somehow disable the girls machine without hurting her.

This would no doubt be a long and arduous task, thus the other two members of the attack group were now classified as 'Dead men walking'.

It was a bad day to be an Imperial in Narshe .

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Another chapter finished and a request done.

Now to my fans.

Vir M. - Thanks for the two reviews and yes Hellsing crossovers rock

Warp Ligia - I swear their so similar from the head downwards that even Integra would get them confused.

Invader Thorn - I'll give it a shot , JTHM isn't my usual fare but I do find his comics occasionally chuckle worthy.

Heartlilly - Chapter length seems to have bumped by maybe another hundred words. Any-more and I'll be forcing it out , which when writing isn't a good thing.

I don't own Trigun or Final Fantasy VI

See ya

- Darthjag.


	5. Motor City Chapter Five

The suits had entered too fast , **much** too fast for anyone human. He didn't even have time to grasp Rebellion before they unloaded twenty rounds in his back. He fell awkwardly onto the floor of his office, his face looking directly at the suits feet, pain etched face reflected in the polished shoe leather .

Dante struggled to move , why wasn't his healing kicking in ? His body should have healed the gunshots wounds in a few seconds, hell Vergil could take twenty and still keep going without any discomfort.

"W-why a-" .

"-re we doing this ? You Mister Redgrave are an anomaly, you have done good work for the Matrix destroying several hundred exiles which would have taken us a good amount of time and effort to find and subdue. Unfortunately much like what you destroy, **you** are now obsolete" .

The suit raised his Desert Eagle to Dante's skull, ready to end what was left of the Devil hunters life.

"Goodb-" the suit paused mid sentence raising his hand to his ear, he nodded occasionally before a small (and brief) smile appeared.

"Mister Anderson has decided to come out and play, let us…._greet_ him".

Thus the fate of the last son of Sparda, alone in the world with none but himself, his fabled blood lined with the power of a god-killer. Slowly seeping into the floorboards. Add to that the amount of confusion the suits had caused him with their chat and his once peachy day was now down the proverbial shitter.

"Vergil, Mom……even you Dad…..I think…..I think I'll be seeing you guy's soon…"

Eyes closed he hoped that the reaper would come soon, completely unaware that in a matter of moments he would learn that there was much, much more to his world then mere demons and humans.

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"….And you may call me Nny".

"No, I call you my pay-check you freaky little psychopath".

The skinny figure with the odd 'antenna hair' flicked his butterfly knife gently between his fingers, the metal flashing in what remained of the evening light. This girl had caught him while he was attaining some 'paint' for his wall, such a shame as well, this one had been a good long bleeder…..

"You do realise I have at least three feet in height on you, you insufferable little insect" .

Lady shifted slightly, two arms upraised and trigger fingers itchy, demon hunting was **so** much easier, all the satisfaction of a clean kill and none of the chatter.

"That may be, but I'm not the one sassing the girl with two Desert Eagles" .

"Good point, good point, but then again **I'm** not the one dressed like some kind of perverted catholic schoolgirl"

That was it ! She had had ENOUGH. The insect comment she could take (she'd been called worse) even the shot at her height wasn't so bad ( admittedly she was petite but it helped with the element of surprise when Demons were expecting a burly warrior , damn things were as dumb as a bag of bricks) Screw the extra five hundred for 'alive', this guy was getting ventilated !!

**BANG**

She'd be amazed if this hadn't happened before ; he'd dodged the oncoming bullet and went to strike her, eerily reminiscent of one of Dante's more cocky moves that he'd used during their 'quarrel' in the Temen-Ni-Gru.

The blade itself was easy to dodge, the strike being too focused on where she was then where she **could** be. It was cake piece to flip over the maniac and resume her 'two gun hold-up' pose upon him.

"Devil" ? She enquired, if he was then there would be no bounty, no bounty meant no money and no money meant her (rather small) shop got closed , as well as having to eat her pride and ask Dante for a loan.

"Wrong , Waste lock"

Something she didn't know, even better ! Now there was a chance that she couldn't kill it AND it would be impossible to detain for her bounty

"Shit"

"You got that right"

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Slightly shorter then my last I'll admit. The matrix one gave a wee bit off trouble…

Anyway some people may be wondering about my characterization of my 'cast'.

Heres how I view things.

Lady - A VERY angry young women , doesn't like being underestimated or treated like an inferior due to her status as a human. Has a soft side but it's usually hidden under several layers due to her nature as a demon hunter.

Dante - A laid back , fun loving guy. At least that's what he portrays , has a lot of deep emotional issues including a possible Oedipus complex and a good deal of hatred/resentment for his father. His moods switch from happy/ goofing around (often) to cold and serious (not so often) . Enjoys tomato juice , pizza and eradicating demons.

Virgil - Basically a 'refined' Dante , but a hell of a lot colder whom views humans as insects unless they can match or come close to him in strength. Views power as absolute and will try to gain power whenever possible (or at least when it looks like a good situation) .

I don't own JTHM or The Matrix.

See Ya

- Darthjag.


	6. Chapter Six : Insert Witty Pun Here

Tap

Tap tap

Tap tap tap

_tzzrt_

**BOOM**

The back room (now official 'Lab' ) belched smoke, it's door hanging barely onto it's hinges thanks to the force of the explosion. It's only occupant (the newest member of the Devil May Cry 'organization' ) seemed unaware of the blinding smoke and was more intent on cursing .

"Worthless piece of tr-"

"Hey Ed"

The 'victim' of the explosion poked his head out of the doorway, blonde bangs and face smeared with soot. He gazed irritably upon his 'boss', the 'Legendary Dark Knight' Dante.

"What" ?

"I thought you'd said you'd figured out how to work with the demon blood ? I mean I have no problem with the explosions and all…it's just some of the neighbours are getting a little frightened ya know" ?

I HAVE figured out how to work with the blood, transmuting it is easy, getting it to stay in this green…. star….. thing is the difficult part…

"I thought the difficult part was you trying to reach the top shelf" joked Dante, a smile on his face.

Ed scowled and store daggers at Dante ; his childish outbursts had lessened as he aged, his body unfortunately hadn't. It was quite ironic, here he was a technical immortal in his own right, and all he had to do was walk through the gate. The _other _Dante (His boss didn't like him mentioning her, said it got things too confusing) must be kicking her self.

"How's your attempts at opening the gate going Dante" muttered Ed , changing the (rather touchy) subject at hand.

"No luck, Vergil would know but he's currently …."

"…Disposed" retorted Ed knowing the answer almost immediately. Dante didn't talk much about his brother (then again he didn't talk much about his own….) he was always away on various missions. Things Dante couldn't do due to time or certain…restraints.

"Yeah".

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes , the two just standing there before they uttered their 'Goodbyes' and got back to work.

Sighing Ed looked at his ruined lab and the pulsing mess that could have been the Vital Star.

"It's gonna be a long day".

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"Umm Hello" .

This voice knocked Dante out his 'filing' ( as in nap, even half-devils needed sleep) and off of his chair (Sleeping with ones legs up on a desk isn't a good thing, especially when your chair is easily tipped) .

Icy blue eyes flickered open slowly and searched around the room ; this was marginally difficult due to the large amount of his snow white hair having been ruffled by his awkward awaking.

"Whozat" ? Dante slurred, sleep still filtering through his mind.

"Hi" .

Dante's eyes slid upwards, the thought of getting up never having occurred to the half breed (Why bother, it was **his** damn shop after all) ; his thought processes suddenly ground to a halt and worked from the bare essentials .

Long legs, curvy body, blonde hair in cute pigtails. Houston, we have a winner !

The young hunter amended his 'Why bother' ethos in a nano-second, literally throwing himself off the floor and into the air before landing again seconds later ( in what could be considered both aN extreme feat of agility AND a perfect ten point landing ! ) .

"Whoa".

"Thanks" Dante ran his hand through his hair for a moment, smoothing down any sleep and/or fall mussed parts. He had to look his best for a babe after all.

The girl seemed nervous, fidgeting occasionally. Made sense though ; not many people would step into his shop without having some kind of demonic problem on their hands (or needing the bathroom, it had gotten so common place now he usually told all customers where his toilet was)

"So…what can I do to help you" ?

Just lay on the charm , the girls go crazy for the 'knight in shining armour' shtick.

"Well…it's going to sound kinda silly…."

Dante sauntered back to his desk and pulled the old 'kick the chair' routine (another good trick , it impressed the customers to no end) .

"I hear silly all the time, c'mon hit me" ?

"Well…my Uncle was..well kidnapped…."

Fuck, she thought he was a detective, not a handsome, charming,, strong, bad-ass devil kill-

"…by some kind of...thing, all I can tell is that is wasn't human. Nothing human could tear apart his car like it did."

-er .Hot damn a job **and** a babe ! Pffft and Enzo said he was useless without him.

"So what's your Uncles name ?

"Gadget, John Gadget, I'm Penny by the way"

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Hehe , we all know Penny would be a hottie when she grew up . LOL.

Anyway some of you were asking a few questions about my Matrix chapter so I thought I'd give a little explanation.

Originally the chapter was a LOT darker , so I tried to make it a little more light-hearted. If I were to add to it , Neo would have arrived and unplugged Dante before his wounds 'killed' him. Dante's powers though within the Matrix are a part of his 'code' (Not like Neo or Morpheus who gain theirs through simply realising that the Matrix is fake , thus any rules such as gravity are null and void). As such the Agents (whom are like the 'Anti-Virus' for the Matrix) should be able to 'turn-off' Dante's powers.

I dot own Full Metal Alchemist or Inspector Gadget

See ya

-Darthjag


	7. Chapter Seven : Let their be update !

The sand crunched lightly under his boot clad feet, annoyance plainly evident on the sun swathed face of one Vergil 'Redgrave' (He'd wanted Sparda, but oh no, his fool of a brother just HAD to stick with his little adopted 'nickname' ; sentimental idiot).

You would think that after a week of walking through the desert he'd get used to that noise ? Hah, wrong. He never did, something about each individual grain crushing against each other, causing the noise to have a 'nails on a chalkboard' effect upon the elder son-of-Sparda.

Enhanced hearing could be aggravating sometimes.

Vergil sighed deeply, he needed to focus, yes focus was good, if he focused then perhaps he could block the noises out . He'd considered Devil triggering and flying but his wings had proven to be untrustworthy in this heat, also he required stealth ; the sight of a flying demonic creature was never a good portent and usually caused him to be pelted by several makeshift projectiles from civilians (He'd never forget the pan that had nailed him square in the forehead, likewise the pitcher would now never forget the softness of a cushion. Vergil having somehow rammed the pot (handle first ! ) where the sun does not shine) .

Back to his focus, or to be more exact the main **point** of his focus. The mission.

When the two brothers had escaped from the Temen-Ni-Gru ( himself unwillingly being dragged by Dante, damn him and his luck !) they had been quite surprised by it's imminent destruction. Apparently (or from what they could glean from Arkham's books ) without the gate to the demon world sustaining it , the 'activated' tower crumbled, but at the same time it seemed to radiate malevolence .

Lady had remarked at the time that 'The tower had certainly left it's mark upon the city'. Boy was she wrong…..

It's 'mark' was felt elsewhere. The tower may not have had enough energy to sustain itself, but it still had more then enough to pull off a 'finale' of sorts.

A tear in the space time continuum.

It had caused several new continents to appear in the pacific ocean ; they were under immediate scrutiny from the larger world powers, but were able to repel any attempts of 'invasion' by what they viewed as 'foreign intruders'. Their technology was at a early twentieth century level but the citizens themselves seemed able to outpace human technology by leaps and bounds.

The only country able to safely trade and barter with these new continents were Japan whom reported of the fantastical abilities of the people and a disturbing similarity between both cultures . The resemblance even going so far as their language and indigenous species .

Vergil held little interest at first, aside from making sure the truth was 'conveniently' hidden (dealing with his lazy brothers parking tickets were one thing , dealing with the UN accusing him of summoning a potential planetary threat was a different thing altogether). But news began spreading through their respective connections .

Demons . Strong ones, insanely powerful from what they heard. Though these people had a…'unique' method of dealing with it.

Forcibly creating half-breeds sounded like a good idea but probably wouldn't do the fragile human psyche too much good…..

Anyway, they had arrived a few days ago . Dante went to meet one half-breed in a 'Village hidden in the leaves' . He'd gone to find the second whom was in a 'village hidden in the sand'. Recruitment or at least training was their aim, as Dante had put it ' Have to keep tabs on the half-breeds running around, else who knows who'll take up the sword when were gone' ?

From what he heard this 'Gaara' kid sounded dangerous. Descriptions varied from a hundred feet high racoon/child to a boy with a gourd. Though their was one constant , a saying the kid had.

"I love myself, and only myself ; well you better have power to back up that love 'Gaara' or I'll be sorely disappointed."

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"Go home he said , have a rest he said, BAH" !

These were the mutterings of a frazzled Devil killer, one Mary Arkham (Better know under her alias as 'Lady') . Today was not a good day, quite evident by the screams, gunshots and unearthly moans that seemed to permeate the entirety of the city.

She'd had a simple aim in mind ; this being time off. Apparently, demonic doings seemed to follow her.

She'd biked all the way to her hometown (Dante having trumped up the cash last month for a new motorcycle) and was quite surprised to find that the Umbrella Corp still had it's stranglehold on her sleepy little home-town. While her father may have been a scum-sucking reprobate, he at least had enough common sense to instil in her that Umbrella wasn't right and 'natural' (though considering this guy focused eight tenths of his time upon a long dead legend the term 'natural' could be used loosely).

Upon finally getting **into** her town though she had come across a slight speed bump on her road to relaxation.

Zombies.

"GODAMMIT, Can't I have FIVE fucking minutes without something trying to kill me"

Lady abandoned her twin uzi's and pulled out Kalia Ann, a single blast eradicating the undead surging towards her.

While her rage may hide it, this (The zombie slaughter that is) was actually quite easy (at least easy compared to demon hunting ) the only things giving her trouble were her ammunition (though she carried an ungodly amount at all times, you could never be too sure when a demon would materialize ) and those weird mutant things running around the city.

Oh ; and the cute guy who had taken to follow her everywhere, Leon…something or other. A rookie cop who (by pure luck) seemed to have made it through the city so far. He was actually kinda sweet , calling her miss all the time and even offering her a bowgun he found.

She'd lent him Kalia Ann in return, it was the least she could do, especially when he had that big..black…thing try to take his head off with it's claws.

They'd been separated though by a train wreck ; luckily a rendezvous point had been created for them (them being the Umbrella scientists whom she had a feeling were involved in this mess… ) which they could take advantage of.

"Deep breaths lady, deep breaths, don't need you going BAT-SHIT CRAZY" !!!

Screaming helped she found , very therapeutic. Unfortunately it also lured some of the weirder creatures in the city after her, evident by a 8 foot tall lumbering B.O.W

"STARS"

"Awww Nut's"

Kalia Ann would need a good long clean after all this , point blank shots made such a mess.

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I will NOT be writing at this length normally , this was mostly because I didn't feel satisfied with a cheap 'fall out of a portal' origin for the Naruto crossover. If enough interest is put into it I may do another drabble of it in here , a 'sequel' of sorts.

I finally did the RE crossover people were asking for , kinda short I know but I felt Lady best suited the situation. In a sense you could say she replaces both Claire and (certain parts of) Ada in the game.

See Ya

- Darthjag.


	8. My Eighth Chapter, pretty snazzy eh ?

"Shit !"

With a clatter Mary Arkham's favourite weapon (and treasured possession) slipped out of her fingers and onto the floor, aided of course, by the claws of a vicious Fashima demon (take the skeletons of a dog,, a horse and a gorilla, give them a mix, add sickly green skin and you have your average Fashima demon).

The Devil huntress was forced into a corner, no place to run, no place to hide. Ladies other guns had ran out of ammunition mere minutes ago and even if they were of some use, they were now out of reach.

The demon itself strolled back and forth in front of it's prospective meal ; it needed a few minutes to heal it's wounds, the stingy things it (the prey) fired having caused some minor damage which (while nowhere near fatal) would cause the feeding process to be annoyingly uncomfortable.

It paused in its movements though when the prey began to ..shine ? Light seemed to emanate from it's paws. How was this possi-

"**Shakunetsu Hadouken !!!"**

The charred remains of the demon slid down the wall slowly, it's internal organs having become some kind of glue-like substance thanks to the extreme heat of the chi-blast.

"Eww".

That blast was…exhilarating. Draining , but exhilarating.

She'd have to thank Dante somehow for sending her to train with Ryu-Sensei ; it had certainly been a learning experience.

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Ah the wonders of Tokyo, the beautiful scenery, the wondrous architecture, the…sound of screaming children ?

Vergil Redgrave (call him that to his face and you die) wasn't a happy man, in-fact he was quite UN-happy.

You see a little problem had formed upon his arrival in the overtly populated mega-city. This problem was girls, 'magical girls' to be exact.

It seems that your average demon is an endangered species within Tokyo, a large number of fuku'd , glowing and sickeningly cute young girls arriving to eradicate even the slightest demonic creature with a gusto.

Thus being the spawn of possibly the most powerful devil in the underworld, he attracted more 'magical girls' then a corpse did carrion.

"Mew Mew style, Mew Mew grace, Mew Mew power in your f-URK".

The latest was a some insipid little girl/cat amalgam who stank of strawberries, his fingers were wrapped in a vice like grip around the wench's throat while he idly noted a brick wall nearest to him ; a boon to any who want 'information' .

"Why -" SLAM "-do-" SLAM "-you-" SLAM "-insects-" SLAM "-continue-" SLAM "-to-" SLAM "-harass-" SLAM "-me !!!".

Now that the child's head suitably represented hamburger meat he could let go and leave this particular district, the nasty little thing wouldn't be getting up from THAT !

"I am Sailor Moon, champion of justice! On behalf of the moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that-OH MY GOD !"

Apparently the 'magical girl' peanut gallery had arrived and noticed the corpse.

Feeling in a bit of a 'grandstanding' mood he decided to Devil Trigger. Perhaps these fools would die from the sheer fright of his Devil from ?

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod" was all the blonde could put forth, for once an enemy actually would do them bodily harm ! Instead of...you know, sucking out their happiness… or something along those lines.

His voice distorted and scratchy echoed throughout the various lots and districts of the city , causing many a magical girl to shiver in fear.

"God ? Your going to need him when I'm done with you"

With that said the half devil unsheathed Yamato and turned ; a large grin upon his face.

Today was going to get a **whole** lot better .

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I'd like to cut my stories short this chapter to highlight a flame I received from a Mr 'Flame Rising' . Until this very day I didn't even know such a person existed and thought the idea of a review troll a laughable concept, guess I was wrong.

**Good God. A fucking piece of shit from my ass could write better than this. How old are you? Five? Six?**

What the fuck is wrong with you that you think you can write a story people want to read? The only people that like this crack-out piece of shit are other inbreds like you.

Please, do the rest of humanity a favor and never, ever write anything again.

Just to make sure, maybe you should jump off a cliff.

Got it?  
Good. 

Now I'm a fair and modest man. I understand that my work isn't a million dollar piece of writing that could shit-stomp H.P. Lovecraft, J.K. Rowling and Terry Pratchett all at once. I also understand that my grammar isn't gold but I can honestly say I try pretty damn hard to proof read my own work and make sure I dot the I's and cross the T's (so to speak).

**NOTE : It has recently come to my attention that most of the above (IE : Me being flamed) is due to my association with the member 'Invader Thorn'. She was 'flamed' first and then I being a member of her favourites list was a 'victim' of the 'crossfire'. **

**Thus everything above can be ignored save for my 'Fair and Modest' thing.**

Now to reward my readers for their patience my next ficlet will definitely be up to a 1000 words (not including author notes) to make up for my lack of actual content within this chapter. .

See ya

- Darthjag


	9. Chapter Nine : The Long One

"I WILL BE YOUR DOOM !!!!"

"Sure thing little guy"

It was an odd set up. He now had a 'sidekick' (in the form of a black wearing, big headed, techno whiz kid ) and a trapped 'demon' (although his 'sidekicks' constant cries of 'He's an Alien!' were starting to sway his opinion ever so slightly). The Devil hunter leaned backwards in his chair, a content smile on his face.

While this was happening Dante's new sidekick was running around trying to keep himself busy before his 'sensei' thought up an adequate physical regime which (he hoped) wouldn't break his frail self in two.

Kinda confused ? You should be (we ARE in the middle of the story after all); to explain it properly though would involve a long winded tale describing events in such a way, that would indefinitely net the author a few Oscars and maybe even get him a award of the year. But since he's a lazy bastard you get the short version.

Once upon a time their was a loud, big headed child with dreams of supernatural grandeur ; unfortunately the little big-head child was pretty poor at finding anything mystical or out of the ordinary beyond a blatantly obvious Alien with inept conquering skills and serious anger issues. Thus the big head child went to what he deemed 'the best' and offered him the (now caged) alien as proof that he was worthy of training…or at least acknowledgment that the thing he had WAS an Alien.

Unfortunately the thing was VERY annoying (at least in Dante's opinion) . Every hour or so, yak yak yak, doom this, doom that, planet full of 'hideous stench monkeys'..

Jeez, even Beowulf didn't't gripe this much (and he was stuck in a set of arm/footwear ! ) .

"-nd then you will all bow to my superiorness, the Irken armada will then crush you, your planet and this stuuuuuupid thing you call a home into tiny bits of dirt encrusted filth !!!!"

"Do I have to get the gag ?"

"…..No sir."

"Good"

At least they found one way to shut him up.

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"Hail to the King baby"

Ash moved in to kiss the (pretty fine) women he'd just saved from the deadite, unfortunately he was stopped mid-smooch by the women pulling a handgun on him, the barrel pressing into his intimate regions.

"Call me baby ONE more time and you'll find yourself a eunuch , 'your majesty' !"

"Hey hey hey, no need to get hasty there ba-"

The women growled digging the pistol in a little deeper, this produced an interesting effect, the resident deadite slaughterer's voice jumping several octaves in pitch.

"-miss. What's your problem any way ?"

She shoved herself off of him with ease, a little disconcerting considering she looked alot smaller and weaker then him (muscle mass was easy to obtain when your scrambling to kill an evil version of yourself and his horde of summoned skeletons).

"My 'problem' you muscle-head, is that I spent FOUR MONTHS tracking that damned demonic energy source, I was SO close to finding it's nest and then **you** have to kill it !!"

"Uhh….you want to fill me in a little here ?"

Sighing loudly she ripped off a pendant around her neck and flung it to the floor. Her image shimmered a few times and in a blink of an eye the brunette in a blue blouse became a black haired women in some kind of weird school-girl outfit.

To be quite honest he'd preferred the former then the latter, at least the former didn't threaten to castrate him with a pistol (no doubt a messy and…painful procedure).

The women looked as if she was about to answer him but squashed the idea when a scream was heard outside the S-mart. Running towards the exit she only paused once to inform him that if he 'got in her way' she'd 'make him **wish** he'd never been born' .

Rolling his eyes the 'Hero from the sky' reloaded his 'boomstick' and picked up a chainsaw. A gasoline powered monstrosity soon roared into life, teeth spinning eagerly.

"Groovy"

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Those wretched, vile, moronic, disgusting, barbaric HUMANS !!!!

They SHOT him ! No warning, no snide comments, not even a jovial insult like his brother would give .

They just entered his domical and fired ! This lined up quite nicely with his theory that guns were the weapons of the weak, after all who but weak humans would kick down a persons door just to put a bullet in their skull ?

Apparently they thought that a single bullet would kill him (another idiotic thing established in human minds, didn't they realise that a single shot **never **kills ? ). The look upon their faces when he got back up again however was priceless.

As was the feeling when he crushed the gun that they used ; a hint of magic seemed embedded within it, but nothing that a son of Sparda couldn't overcome with ease.

He soon extracted the information he wanted, totrture was (he'd recently discovered) the only commendable thing humans had created. These 'Winchester' brothers had confused him with another demon and attacked.

Incompetent fools.

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"Ow"

Force Edge slid cleanly out of the Sorcerers body , the white haired ,black garbed man falling to his knees.

"I'm sorry Bob"

'Bob' looked upwards at his murderer, then the corpse at his feet. The body itself was that of a beautiful young women , dark hair framing a face now at eternal rest. He looked back upwards ; confusion evident.

"I-it should h-h-have…..worked, why d-didn't it….work ?" Blood seeped out of the wound in a slow fashion, small sparks signalling his innate magic trying (and failing) to heal him.

The air itself seemed to cleave in two as Force Edge was swung back into it's sheathe, it's owner neglected to answer the question and simply turned to leave.

"Answer me !"

Nothing, he continued to walk. Inches away from the exit now, just a simple case of twisting the knob and leaving .

"ANSWER ME GODAMIT SPARDA !"

A copious amount of blood and spittle mixed into the scream, the wound overcoming a last weak healing attempt by his magic. Then there was cold, such chilling , overcoming cold, before finally nothingness.

His final thoughts should have been on his dear sweet Winefride, but instead they twisted into something far darker.

Damn the Sparda family and their bloodline, damn them for all eternity.

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Ok , let's see equal parts humour to balance out the seriousness.

Now I'd like to thank all those who gave me encouragement and words of praise in my reviews. You seriously helped me when I doubted myself. Thanks very much.

I don't own Invader Zim , The Evil Dead franchise , Supernatural or The Dresden Files (TV Version)


	10. Chapter Ten : Damn I'm Good

Fight fire with fire.

It was a favourite phrase of her Mothers and she would live towards it's example. After all what could a gun do to a monster like her Father ?

Into the dark arts did Mary Arkham delve, knowing that her goal was vengeance she overlooked spells and practices. Her father had become a Devil ; a creature so powerful that they were worshipped as Gods. No known spell or artifact could destroy a God , incapacitate perhaps. But not outright destruction ; anything less was useless to her.

Many months passed, she grew distant and cold. The once cheery and bright schoolgirl becoming withdrawn. Soon she refused to leave her home, so absorbed in her work was she, that she failed to notice even her own Mothers rotting corpse. Many a night would she spend simply pouring over ancient and musty books that the scum sucking filth know as her Father owned.

Until she found it that is.

A single tome, bound in human flesh and inked in blood ; it's interior detailing the true fate of the Olympian Gods. Only a single remained, having laid waste to the others in a fit of rage.

The God of War.

She researched even further , meticulously translating each word letter by letter. She had to make sure he wasn't one of _them. _A Devil using the trappings of a God like so many of them did, she would show them , all of them ! A human could be powerful...oh yes indeed could they be powerful.

"KRAAAAAAAAAATOS "

The lights flickered and dimmed, books fell left and right, her body tingled at the feeling of **ancient** magic. Time finally stopped altogether, noticeable by books simply hanging in mid-air instead of succumbing to gravities will.

"Who dares summon the God of war ? "

To be honest she'd expected…well more ! A flaming beard , red skin or maybe even a mohawk perhaps ? Not some pale skinned guy with bad tattoos and chunky armour. None the less he had incarnated into her room (the library became known as that soon enough, her psychosis beginning to delve even deeper) so he was to be treated with care, for now that is.

"I dare" was all the deranged schoolgirl said, steely eyes locked with this 'God'.

Things were about to get crazy.

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T'was a simple day on the open road for Dante, he'd been itching to test out his new motorcycle (The fifth in-fact, Dante was considered an act of God by both Insurance agencies **and** custom bike shops) for weeks. Lady however scolded him upon discovering his (several) attempts to sneak away for a test ride.

He didn't have to worry now though ; his (temporary) partner having been called away on a minor devil hunt, something about a 'dark saviour'. He didn't take it too seriously, some punk was always labelling themselves the messiah of the demon world whenever they got a decent drop of power.

Nothing to get worked up over.

"Where's Mother !"

"Huh ?"

Dantes head twisted slightly, trying to keep his eyes on both the road and this new guy who'd just pulled up next to him; it was a little difficult, but after he'd dodged the second car he'd gotten used to the feeling of dual sight. Now he just had to see who this…..

"Oh you have **GOT** to be kidding me"

The kid looked JUST like him, if he had a fetish for leather bodysuits that is…oh and those creepy green cat pupils. He eyed the double katana carefully, thing looked sharp enough to slice through steel.

"Where's M-"

"I don't know where your damn Mommy is, so-" interrupted Dante before he himself was interrupted, his copycat swinging the double katana at him.

The sword sliced cleanly through the chassis and gas tank in one movement, several technical and chemical mishaps then merged into one great big problem and (to make a long story short) ; the bike exploded.

Somebody was going to pay.

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"-onight we dine In HELL !!!"

"So eager for death, oh King of Sparta ?"

King Leonidas bristled, face twisting into a mask of confusion and anger (but mostly anger , he **was** being insulted in front of his troops after all )

"Who said that !"

" I " announced the purple garbed stranger whom had been standing there since dawn, unnoticed by the entire legion of Spartans that were the Kings bodyguards .

" What do you mean fool !"

The stranger swept back his mop of white hair ; morning sun outlining a face so perfectly it almost appeared to have been chiselled from stone. Whispers ran throughout 'The 300' , of a warrior faster than the eye could see, stronger then ten thousand men , able to withstand a rain of arrows so thick the very sky itself would be blotted out.

The very man their nation took it's name from….

Sparda.

There were of course a few translation problems back in the day , thus the 'T' replacing the 'D', but things smoothed out more under Lacedaemon's rule.

As the Kings voice rose the collective '300' began to cringe ; they had the uncanniest feeling that this would all end in tears….

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Yes I know this Is an UBER late update but I had serious writers block. Not only that but I had tests coming up….so cut me some slack dammit !


	11. Chapter Eleven Made in Heaven

It had been a long and arduous trek for Mary, the demonic tower proving a worthy adversary full of demons, traps, and all manner of setbacks and unpredictable occurrences. They all eventually fell though, she was motivated by the strongest force in the universe.

Vengeance.

She'd 'wasted' every demon in her path and as such, was now weighed down by a large number of demonic items which (while tainted by their evil energy) could prove useful in the final battle against that rat bastard of a man knows as her 'Father'.

Plus the guitar just looked awesome.

It was silly and childish and far unbecoming of her battle honed nature….. but something about it strapped on her back and 'thrumming' with her every word filled her with a little more confidence then usual. Perhaps an after affect of it's former self ? ( the extravagant succubus had had an intoxicating effect upon her, lowering her resolve while heightening her arousal. Still didn't stop a bullet however) .

When she finally arrived at the top she found not one, but two waiting for her arrival; the first was obvious, she'd never forget that bald head with the disturbing tumour, rippling and distorting itself upon his face. The second however was an unknown, he looked like some kind of knight with a regal air around him, swathed in blue with hair like snow.

Her thoughts were cut off though when the man in blue attacked, his katana lashing out at her midsection ; only to be caught within the freezing chains of her sansetsukon . That's all it was good for from her point of view, lacking neither the time nor patience to even attempt to use it in combat (such a weapon needing serious skill for even minor usage) she found it useful for defence.

As an added side-effect however, it froze the sword. Encasing the blade within a thick layer of ice in mere seconds. Now was the time to strike !

With cat-like grace she leaped over the 'Blue Knight' (dropping 'Cerberus' in the process) and unloaded into his back ; two Machine-Pistols nestled lovingly between the guitar and the large scimitars being the particular culprits on this occasion. He went down rather easily, his human form obviously not offering much durability, unfortunately he seemed to be healing rapidly. Striking upon a new idea though she pressed her advantage, blowing the regenerating figure off the edge of 'Temen-Ni-Gru' with a single swipe of the powder blue scimitar.

It had all been leading up to this moment, the blood , sweat and tears all exerted for a single precise shot. Her finger squeezed the trigger resulting in a beautiful head-shot .

Patricide felt good.

What didn't however ; was the after-affect. Her fathers corpse exploding into a cloud of smoke as a small fanged mushroom waddled (?) out of said cloud. The thing was quite nervous and jittery but took it's time getting to her.

"Yy-y-your father is on another tower" the creature squeaked while flinching pre-emptively.

Bi-coloured eyes flickered, deep breaths taken, even a little fist clenching was involved. Then the inevitable cry came.

"….what….the…ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!"

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"HERE - COME - THE DRUMS ! "

These were the final words of British Prime Minister Harry Saxon alias 'The Master'. His decapitated body hitting the ground before his finger could even touch the one important button .

"Now this is why I despise human politics" muttered Vergil Redgrave, hiding in a small alcove twenty metres away, his sword still hummed lightly. The after-effect of the judgement cut he had used to 'murder' the politician.

As the first Son Of Sparda carefully removed himself from the aerial base he contemplated the Underworlds variation of politics. Namely, might makes right. So much simpler and easier, your opponent stakes a claim , you kill him. Problem solved, none of this nilly willy about 'who has the best ideals' and 'who thinks of the people' . It was more alone the lines of 'obey and you shall live'. Quite idyllic comparatively .

Really now, couldn't of his brother just _let him fall_ ! But no ; Dante had fouled even **that** up.

What was the worst that could of happened ?

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Arms, check.

Legs, check

Giant monster armed with a suped up power drill, check.

Ordinary mission then ?

Hell no ; he'd been thrown off a plane, nearly drowned three times, fell through a bathysphere (was almost crushed alive by the pressure from the little stunt) , had to deal with a bunch of psychos armed with fish hooks and (what appeared to be) devil powers, before finally coming across 'Mister Bubbles'

Now he was pissed.

Rebellion swung around and shot forward , demon forged blade peppering the metallic behemoth with hundreds of strikes . However it seemed for naught, the sword barely even denting the creature.

" Your one tough bastard huh ?" joked Dante as he side-stepped the massive drill before retaliating with a Stinger, Devil energy allowing him to thrust the blade faster, further and stronger then any mere human could. Luck sided with him this time however, the tip and three inches of the broadsword embedding themselves within the things helmet.

"Showtime !"

The Half devil twisted the blade around with some minor difficulty ; gouging a larger hole within the helmet while simultaneously dodging the flailing drill and the creatures attempts to ram him into a wall. The hole now complete Dante proceeded to ram his shotgun ( another relic of this crazy place) into the entry point and fill it to the brim with devil energy.

Needles to say the resulting explosion disintegrated the monsters skull and remaining helmet, not many took a point-blank-devil-charged-shotgun-blast to the face and survived. Sighing lightly the hybrid sat down on the fallen corpse, opting for a slight breather.

"Rapture my ass"

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Bioshock , Mario and Doctor Who OH MY !

Yeah , extreme lateness I know….

Tri-chuku

In this particular case Mary seems to only believe Devils and devil advocates (worshippers ect) have entered the tower)


	12. Chapter Twelve Contest Time !

Demonic possession was a concept Dante could understand.

It was a simple enough, a weak demon would infiltrate the body of a particular item or creature,and then either influence him or outright take charge. Either way you usually ended up with a creature astronomically more power then its original iteration .

They never turned out like _this_ though.

The thing was a behemoth, metallic red and blue skin gleaming in the light, while hundreds of gears and chains clicked and whirred as it knelt lower.

"Do not fear us, freedom is the right of all sentient beings" it intoned in a calm (if rather aged) voice. Dante's 'Devil-sense' was currently pointing at zero, so --obviously-- this thing wasn't a demon .

But if it wasn't a demon…then what was it ?

He would of enquired about the mechanical beings origins, note 'would of', a term of past tense. Past tense because just as Dates query was to be stated _a helicopter fell on him ._

Blackout would later on regret falling upon 'The horrible fleshing with the white fibres' ; this would be followed by his termination. Alastor ramming clean through his chest and electrocuting every circuit, plug and delicate mechanism to a fine crisp.

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Lady had seen a lot of weird things in her time as a Devil Hunter. Things with slime, things with no heads, things with faces so ugly they were said to drive you mad just by looking at them. This however, was --without a doubt-- the weirdest .

It looked like her. It _sounded _like her. But no way in _hell_ was it her.

For one, it had just stepped out of some kind of ….thing, it looked like a washing machine and a Spitifre had a child and threw it down the mechanical version of the Ugly tree. Adding insult to injury it had parked right in front of her (modest) shop. No potential cash today Lady, it's blocked by your clone and a guy with the silliest hair in the universe.

Oh yeah, the guy. Bright. Lavender. Really she was surprised Dante hadn't 'mysteriously appeared' to congratulate the guy on having worse hair then him. She wasn't a girl for aesthetics…but still. Bright lavender. Honestly !

She scoped the guy out for a second once she was done with his ridiculous hair, muscled, seemed kind of wary ; his eyes flitting right and left as if expecting something . "War veteran ?" she mumbled to herself , her current weapon (a large Russian Sniper Rifle) balanced carefully on the rooftop.

Just in case.

Wait ! Was that a _sword _on his back ! . Christ, who did he think he was, Dante ? Never the less she placed the cross hairs carefully on what she presumed was a killing shot. Not realising what would happen _if _she pulled the trigger.

Of course the usual Mary luck kicked in, several Demonic contingents popped up in front of her shop. Her rapid extermination of 'anything demonic' must have gotten enough to tick off one of the lower level generals, her Hybrid Ally taking up most of the higher level generals with his mere existence.

Before she could even re-adjust the scope however half the group was gone, puffs of dust and sand hinting at their previous existence. The swordsman was good. _Real good_ . Her clone seemed to be faring well , using some kind of hand to hand on the scraggily bastards .

This was all blown out of the water by what the swordsman did next though.

He …changed ? Not like Dante though (She still shivered a little remembering the crimson skin and shark like face staring at her , his voice hiding behind it all) , he didn't become a demon just…just… gold. That was really the only word for it.

The light emanated from the swordsman was blinding , so much in-fact she had to drop the Sniper-rifle to cover her poor eyeballs. "If Dante could see me now" was all she muttered indignant about her situation . She listened intently, hoping to use her other senses to determine what was happening. , but 'twas all for naught. Silence only remained now.

Seconds later her hands were forcibly pulled from her aching eyes, only to be replaced with the 'clones' from earlier on in the form of a handshake.

"Hi, I'm Videl. I'm your ancestor !"

Somehow the day never really did get any better.

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"Who is the ace of spades ?"

It was a question voiced by the small bars newest customer. He was tall , wearing the garments of a priest, as well as blond with a large scar running down his cheek and under his unshaven chin. Added into his heavy drinking ( Eight shots of whisky with no visible affect) and the clink of metal under his coat he was a striking sight.

His companion however was well know, he drank here often and was liked among the patrons. White hair was his most notable trait (although his plaster-casted right arm vied with his hair currently) , a large sword holstered tight to his back. This was Fortuna however, such sights were common-place. The Order protected them from the evils of Devil-kind and in return the country over-looked certain laws for them.

"Well that'd most likely be me" muttered the white haired man, gripping his shot glass tightly. His companion shifted lightly, a long arm reaching over and grabbing another shot glass out of the small group already piled up.

"Same here , both 'o us , nothing more then trash men taking out the garbage." In curious act of fate they both downed their drinks simultaneously , and thus slammed down their glasses in near-perfect synchronisation . The civilians looked on in mild-awe, the tall one had downed eight beers before he had began his shots, so far with no affect upon his constitution.

"Makes you wonder though" began White-hair, tinkering with the zipper upon his trench-coat. " I mean…" he paused while mulling over the correct words "Why do all this ? What for ? So the masses don't learn what's out there ? We deal with it fine enough….."

"To protect the righteous from the wicked and eternal damnation" was all the tall-one replied with. It was most defiantly a fact, misunderstanding his words could leave a man missing limbs ; that is , if he was lucky.

White-hair looked as if he was readying a retort before eyeing the clock on the wall, sighing loudly he threw a few notes on the table before readying himself, straightening his coat out, smoothing his shirt down. Ordinary things to make one look presentable. His companion did likewise.

"Let's hope things are going smoothly, the old bastard can get really crotchety if things aren't going his way " muttered White-hair as he stepped out into the fading daylight .

Thus the two warriors of light , protectors of the peace , and general all around 'Good Guys' shambled off into the night..

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If anyone can identify the two characters I used within the last Drabble then I'll DEFIENTLY write up a drabble featuring characters of their choice (One must be DMC however) .

I down own Dbz , nor Transformers , nor DMC.


	13. Chapter 13 : Winner !

"Spirit Gun !"

The blue projectile shot out at full force, the huge beam impacting it's red garbed target like a freight train. It's owner collapsed onto his knees. The sheer force of having used full power on his 'once a day' attack having drained him entirely.

"Jeez…..he's…..one..tough…bastard" muttered the newly instigated Spirit Detective. Three weeks in to the job and this nutcase attacks him ! Yusukes sweat-slicked hair hung in his eyes while the young man panted , now that this guy was dealt with he could --eventually-- get back to cleaning out this area of demons.

"Nice try kid"

Yusukes eyes slipped upwards, his body too tired to even shift his neck . A red-blur flitted in and out of his peripheral vision for a few seconds before he was hefted into the air. Powerful arms holding him aloft.

"Wha- !"

He was right there. Unharmed. Not even his stupid blood red 'make-me-a-target' coat was damaged , unbelievable ! His face was suddenly forced close to his opponents, ice blue eyes boring into him. The boy squirmed fiercely , something about this guy…demon…whatever he was scared the hell out of him !

"You a sorcerer ?"

Yusuke pushed down the urge to soil himself as the older man questioned him.

"N-n-no" was all he could squeak out.

" Nah didn't thinks so. That attack…the smells not magic, well…not _Demon_ magic at any rate" said his assailant, his harsh tone lightening somewhat .

His grip slackened somewhat and Yusuke found himself hanging by the collar of his shirt instead of caught in a vice like grip. He caught a better look at the guy who took his full powered Spirit cannon like it was nothing, smooth flawless skin and wide eyes , all topped off with a mop of white hair.

Whatever this guy was it certainly wasn't human.

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Damn !

Dodge left, dodge right, jab forward. The blade bit deep causing the hideous worm thing to slink backwards. Caution was necessary however, it'd proven itself to be a resilient foe in the past and Dante wasn't about to let it beat him again .

"Be loose , be cool" was all he murmured, readying himself for his foes response. Respond it did, however not in the way the hybrid had expected. He wanted a fire-ball. Instead he got a lunge, the bulk of the worm knocking him backwards. The hero turned the inadvertent fall into a roll, swiftly regaining his footing and readying his sword once-more, it's blade quivering brightly with barely contained energies.

"A few more seconds, just a few more seconds !" rasped Dante, finally getting tired of this tit-for-tat with the worm,. Thankfully his wish was granted, the abomination pausing to slither closer instead of repeating it's earlier lunge.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

A veritable whirling dervish of slashes erupted, the first merely disabling the creature, the rest slicing open it's softer underbelly. Grotesque white innards spilled outwards painting the forest floor . Surrounding plant-life shrivelled and burned, all life wishing to escape from it's unholy life-blood seeping into the ground

Panting lightly the Hybrid moved forwards, examining the creature. Dismissing a twitch as a death-spasms the hunter moved onwards. This proved to be fatal error on his part. With it's final breaths the worm turned (quite literally), rolling on top of Dante. His organs liquidised in an instant, while his bones were reduced to a fine powder.

All in all he was dead.

The white controllers hit the floor with a thud.

"Dammit !!!"

Twilight Princesses was **really** beginning to piss him off.

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"Your one ugly bastard !"

Said insult was directed towards the creature of cyclopean proportions , it was vaguely humanoid with a large bulging head and two arms and legs. However that's where the resemblance ended. Everything else was either green, scaly , slimy, tentacular or just downright insane, this was a face that a mother couldn't even love.

And it as heading straight for him.

Dante had been mystified and on edge for the last few weeks, until --after a rather successful mission-- he had discovered a cult geared towards the resurrection of some 'Star-spawn' (most likely another lame title the Devil were giving themselves now days). Said resurrection had already began, cultivating in Mister Ugly.

The things maw gaped, while seconds later its lank tentacles (located neatly around it's mouth) receded , logically this meant only one thing. Breath weapon.

"Crap" muttered Dante as he rapidly attempted to dig his heels within the moist stone of the ancient temple, anxiety written all over his face. Why did it have to be a breath weapon ? His dad didn't have one , so why did all the lesser devils seem to think having one was a good idea . The hybrids ponderings were cut off as a powerful roar was sent his way. The sheer force of the creatures vocals sent him flying.

Hitting the water (rather roughly he noted) the hybrid began to sink, his consciousness fading in and out. "Hits harder then I expected" thought Dante listlessly . He wasn't worried too much though, yellow orbs were great for this situation. So he'd allow the Devil a few minutes to gloat while his lungs filled with water.

All the more time to plan.

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Cyclopean was originally a term meaning 'extremely large' due to the myth that Cyclopes helped build Mount Olympus using large stones.

Setesh your request has been granted. Took me a while because I had to do some research Yusuke (took about a while) . While I have a definite idea of a story for next chapter I need two more. Anyone else have some ideas? Preferably Vergil since I see to be ignoring the poor feller…

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Zelda or Cthulu .


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